threelisabeth:

sashayed:

thenumber9ft:

So this happened in the Europa League Final…

threelisabeth let me tell you about Futbol

……………please do

• how often does this happen
• how often do they just………… kiss each other

Thanks for asking, Elisabeth! What a great, important question. The answer is, ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Unlike the men of football and hockey, who are hampered with crushing tank pads and helmets that make them bounce off each other, or the men of baseball and basketball, who – ok i don’t know very much about those guys, maybe they kiss all the time, feel free to send pix – the men of soccer are prolific and enthusiastic kissers right on the mouth. Let’s take a look at some important Soccer Kisses, together.

+ The Full Romance Novel

“Did this really happen?” Are you calling me a fucking liar? Yes, it did, and it’s wonderful. 

Gosh. Open mouthed. Incredible. 

+ The Classic

Since tumblr loves vintage, please enjoy this Argentinian tango from strong competitors Diego Maradona and Claudio Cannigia. “I WROTE YOU EVERY DAY FOR A YEAR!!!" 

+ The "Just Joking, Unless You’re Into It, In Which Case Let’s Get Super Nasty Right Here And Now" 

Especially good. Will haunt you for years.

+ The "Bye Honey, Have A Nice Day At Work”

+ The Unwanted Kiss

You thought Iker would be on the receiving end of this one, didn’t you? Joke’s on you.

+ The Chivalrous Kiss

“Milady.”

+ The Incipient Kiss

i feel p comfortable using the term “achingly close” here.

+ The Tragic Incipient Kiss

“It can never be, Duke Pique, for my cruel father insists I am to be sold in marriage in the morning, but as my brutish husband thrusts atop me on our wedding night I shall think of you, always only of you.”

+ The Three-Way

+ The Four-Way

+ The Throat Nuzzle

+ The No Room For Jesus

Sometimes it is difficult to tell even what kind of kiss we are dealing with. Face kiss? Neck kiss? Chest kiss? Trick question, it’s all of those. The ol’ full-body kiss. And of course, my personal favorite,

+ ZE FRENCH KEES

Here we see Olivier Giroud and Mathieu Debuchy demonstrating The On-Field French Kiss. Tender, passionate, mutual. Observe the full Two-Handed Skull Cup with those brawny, yet gentle, soccer player hands.

Congratulations to you both. May you bear fine sons, or, in your native language, Fils Fins.